Everyone remembers his or her first job right? I think it is safe to say that most first jobs are never very glamorous but mine was quite the opposite. Okay, maybe it was not my first job but it was my second job in high school. During the summer I was a lifeguard at my local neighborhood pool and junior year I landed a job as a receptionist at a very prestigious and up-scale spa. I went through two intense interviews with both of the head managers before being offered the job. My parents were very proud of me and at the age of seventeen it gave me a great boost of confidence to know I had such great interviewing skills.

The overall arching duty of my job was to take care of all aspects of the spa. Those duties included helping the estheticians, the masseuses, and all other people that made the spa run.  My biggest task was answering the back phone and scheduling the appointments and manning the front desk, helping the customers with the check-in and check-out procedures. Every day that I worked I came to enjoy the job more and more. Although I was the low man on the totem pole, I was slowly but surely proving myself and forming bonds with the other female employees in the spa.

When I was reading chapter nine of the McCornack text the definition of conflict really resonated with me. The definition reads, “Conflict is a transactional process between people who perceive incompatible goals, scare resources, or interference in achieving their objectives” (McCornack, 2010). I like the idea of how what each person in a transactional process says or does affects the next the person’s response, ultimately alternating the outcome of the conflict each time.

Everything was going smoothly at my job up until I requested time off. I had informed my boss when we were in the hiring process that I would be requesting time off later in the summer and she never once said that it would be a problem. When the time came I put in my leave request for two weeks. My mother had already purchased my airplane tickets earlier in the year for an annual family trip. My boss kept ignoring my request and eventually I had to confront her about it. When we sat down to discuss it she told me that she granted time-off in order of seniority in the spa. Those who had been with the company the longest got their request off first and that left me at the very bottom. I tried to explain that I had no choice in the matter whether I could go or not. My boss then told me that I should defy my mother and not go. That was the moment I realized we were not going to reach an agreement.  The next week I had to turn in my two weeks notice.

The second part of the McCornack text mentions that conflict is strongly shaped by perception. I would not say that my former boss or I perceived the conflict as a power struggle because clearly I held no power but at the same time I do believe there was a power game being played. She held all the power in granting leave and she thought that I had the power to say no to the planned trip and in doing so I would be defying my mother and that just was not an option for me. 

The third element of the text suggests that conflicts are rooted in our perceptions regarding goals and resources. People can have incompatible goals and that can be the source of the dispute. In my case, I believe my former bosses goal was to keep a hierarchal feeling in the spa amongst the employees.

Overall the conflict was not solved but rather just came to a close because I removed myself from the conflict.

What was a time that you faced a conflict and what do you think was the reason it arose and how did it end?

References:

     McCornack, S. (2010). Reflect and relate: An introduction to interpersonal communication (2^nd ed.). Boston. New York: Bedford/St. Martin’s

I have been employed at the same place for a whole decade, a fact that still baffles me and quite frankly makes me feel way older than my 26 years of age.  Within the last 10 years I have had the opportunity to do a little bit of everything.  Let’s just call me “the jack of all trades.”  Not only have I gained more hands on experience and expanded my knowledge of expertise but the diversity and variety of jobs I have been assigned to do has also given me the opportunity to be exposed to a vast array of different people.  It is no surprise that under these conditions I have been able to build relationships with some of my co-workers which go deeper than just your everyday acquaintances.

“Our most meaningful and intimate workplace relationships are those with our professional peers…our peer relationships are not simply professional; they’re often intensely personal.” (McCornack, 2010.  p 413. ) This is something that holds very true for me.  Over the past 10 years I have seen a lot of my fellow co-workers come and go, bonds have been made and broken, and then there are some that no matter how hard you try you just cannot seem to get along with.  It’s the corporate melting pot; however, there has been one friendship that has stood the test of time.  Cindy Knott is the Credit Manager for Sysco and recently became my new boss.  I guess you can say the power-status spectrum may be off kilter but it has not affected our relationship one bit.  We have what Mcornamck defines as being a professional peer relationship where over the years we have transitioned from being just informational peers (ones that just share work related content) to collegial peers (ones that share work related and personal issues) to what the text describes as being special peers. This is a unique relationship in that special peers share pretty much everything with each other that range from work, family and even emotional support (McCornack, 2010. p414.)  The text states that “evolution of a coworker friendship to a higher state of intimacy is usually spurred by negative events…or serious work-related problems that require an exceptional level of social support.” (McCornack, 2010. p414) Putting a little humor into this I am reminded of a Maxine cartoon I seen one time that says something like “of course were friends…you already know too much.”  How true this is seeing as we both self disclose facts to one another that even our own mothers don’t know  Openness is definitely a key characteristic in our friendship and like Mcnomrak says it is a key factor in helping provide one another with security and emotional support.  The reason our friendship works so well and has progressed through the stages of peer relationships is heavily reliant on how open we are.  Over the years it has created that security and confidence that I can tell her anything at all and I know the information I share with her will not be thrown into the rumor mill.  We both shower each other with assurances or bad day “pick me up’s” and encouragement when needed and most importantly we treat each other with respect and not just has co-workers: 2 traits that Mcornomakc states are essential to helping maintain work place relationships (McCornack, 2010. p414-415.  I can’t recall a single moment when she has not offered up the chance for me to vent my frustrations. I always try to reciprocate when possible.  To be completely honest our friendship dynamic works because we are so much a like.  She is a mirror image of me 20 years from now and I wouldn’t change a thing about our friendship.

After 10 years I may be considered the “jack of all trades,” but I have gained more than just a hands on work experience; I have gained a true life long friendship that is worth so much more.  Have you had any of your friendships begin in the workplace and if so were they just co-workers or did they hold a different title than you? Explain how it changed your outlook or perspective about the workplace environment?

Reference:

“No, I don’t want to clean the bathroom again!” I thought to myself as my manager Tim told me that I would be responsible for cleaning the restrooms at the end of the night. It was going to be the third consecutive night I would have to do this at the end of my shift and I was not happy with it. Yes, I knew that it wasn’t Tim’s choice to give me this task, as the owner gives him the list of chores to do when closing, but I still held a grudge. A small part of me wanted to march to the front office where Rob, the owner and man in charge of the night operations sits, so I can tell him that it was unreasonable that I had to do this for three nights in a row. But I chose not to because I knew the climate inside this organization was defensive. Any input I would give most likely would have lead to me being fired or reprimanded in some way because that is how management dealt with conflict at this establishment.

This incident occurred three years ago while I was an employee at a children’s party place called Pump It Up. As an employee at this company I was exposed to an organization that had a defensive climate. McConack describes a defensive climate as a workplace that is “unfriendly, rigid and unsupportive”(McCornack, 2009, p.409). In these types of climates employees are often found to be unhappy because of the way that interactions are handled and the culture inside these organizations is usually unfriendly. At Pump it Up, management was terrible and did a great job in setting up this type of workplace environment. They would set up work schedules so that employees had little chance to work with friends of theirs. They told us they did this so they wouldn’t have to worry about us talking to each other in the arenas; employees despised this policy. Also they wanted employees to be as detached from the workplace as possible. Having employee parties was always out of the questions, as coworkers felt they couldn’t befriend the people they worked with because management wouldn’t let speak to each other openly. Even breaks were handled in a manor that was very unethical. Mangers would break employees in cycles where no two coworkers ever had a chance to be on break together. I hated each and every one of these policies that made up Pump it Up’s defensive climate (a climate I am thrilled to no longer be apart of) and think that this way of running a company is just wrong.

The defensive climate Pump it Up set up at their organization made employees feel almost imprisoned at work, which caused employees to perform tasks with minimal effort. McCornack suggests that organizations should develop supportive climates, which are workplace environments that can be described as “warm, open, and supportive,” instead of defensive ones in order to be more productive (McCornack, 2009). In order to create a supportive climate in the workplace management should exercise spontaneity, flexibility, empathy and equality, while also being descriptive and encouraging collaboration. Doing these six things will make employees feel more welcomed and comfortable when in the workplace. At my current place of work management does a successful job in doing these six things, which has made me perform more productively as an employee. I don’t know how or why I worked at Pump it Up for an extended period of time, but I know that in the future I would never let my self be an employee of an establishment with a defensive workplace climate.

Have you ever had to work in a defensive climate? If so, how did it make you feel as an employee?

If you have been fortunate enough to work in organizations that have supportive climates, how did that type of climate make you perform as an employee?

McCornack, S. (2009). Reflect and relate: An introduction to interpersonal communication. Boston, MA: Bedford/St. Martin’s.

Irritation and anger wash over me frequently when I enter my bathroom at home. After checking out the mess that is in front of me one day, I go in search of my mother or sister. Unable to find the latter, I complain to my mom, “Mom, Hayley still hasn’t kept the shower clean.”

The cleanliness of the bathroom we share is a major source of conflict for my sister and I. The combination of all her discarded clothes on the floor and her hair in the drains and all over the wall of our shower irritates me immensely. Now, I think it is also fair to admit that my irritation does not stem entirely from the mess itself. My intense irritation at what I have found in my bathroom also arises from the fact that I have talked to my sister several times previous to this occasion about the mess. Other times, I simply ignore the mess because I don’t have time to worry about it or time to try to persuade, and frequently end up arguing with, my sister. My avoidance of the mess is also evident in my turning to my mother to help me get through to my sister. Since I find that when I ask her to do something it does not typically result in any action, I find it beneficial to get my mother involved since I know that my sister is more likely to listen to my mother than me.

This problem has been plaguing us for a substantial amount of time. Determined to resolve this issue, my mother and I came up with a plan to manage the cleanliness of the bathroom. It sounded reasonable to me, so I agreed. My mother assured me that she would talk to my sister about it. I later heard that my sister would go along with this plan as well. Hopeful that finally this conflict with my sister would go away, I eagerly cleaned up my mess for the day shortly after our plan was set in place. Unfortunately, in the next few days, I found that my sister was not living up to my hopes. One morning recently I walked into the bathroom, and found her hair covering our shower as usual. Anger bubbled inside me but I had to ignore it because otherwise I would make myself late for work. Even though it has not been working out perfectly so far, I hope that given some more time this new plan will work and my sister and I can amicably work together to keep our space clean.

My conflict with my sister addresses several concepts covered by McCornack. First, those occasions where I ignore the mess and don’t mention it to my sister even though I am irritated are examples of avoidance. When you are engaging in avoidance of conflict, you simply ignore what is bothering you (McCornack, 2010). Secondly, I would consider the instances of my attempts to talk to my sister about our problem and her resulting apathy my cumulative annoyances. Each time I talk to her and she does nothing, I remember the next time I try to talk to her. This pattern leads to my increasing annoyance and irritation on each occasion.

While I hope that this problem works out soon, for now I will be enjoying my sister’s absence while she is in Germany and keep my bathroom cleaned the way I like it.

In what ways do you typically handle conflicts? What is one situation where you handled conflict using one of the methods covered in the textbook? Was the conflict resolved?

Reference:

McCornack, S. (2010). Reflect and relate: An introduction to interpersonal communication. New York: Bedford/St. Martin’s.