Career lessons learned through conflict

Friday, July 6, 2012 - Posted by LoCascio



Everyone remembers his or her first job right? I think it is safe to say that most first jobs are never very glamorous but mine was quite the opposite. Okay, maybe it was not my first job but it was my second job in high school. During the summer I was a lifeguard at my local neighborhood pool and junior year I landed a job as a receptionist at a very prestigious and up-scale spa. I went through two intense interviews with both of the head managers before being offered the job. My parents were very proud of me and at the age of seventeen it gave me a great boost of confidence to know I had such great interviewing skills.
The overall arching duty of my job was to take care of all aspects of the spa. Those duties included helping the estheticians, the masseuses, and all other people that made the spa run.  My biggest task was answering the back phone and scheduling the appointments and manning the front desk, helping the customers with the check-in and check-out procedures. Every day that I worked I came to enjoy the job more and more. Although I was the low man on the totem pole, I was slowly but surely proving myself and forming bonds with the other female employees in the spa.
When I was reading chapter nine of the McCornack text the definition of conflict really resonated with me. The definition reads, “Conflict is a transactional process between people who perceive incompatible goals, scare resources, or interference in achieving their objectives” (McCornack, 2010). I like the idea of how what each person in a transactional process says or does affects the next the person’s response, ultimately alternating the outcome of the conflict each time.
Everything was going smoothly at my job up until I requested time off. I had informed my boss when we were in the hiring process that I would be requesting time off later in the summer and she never once said that it would be a problem. When the time came I put in my leave request for two weeks. My mother had already purchased my airplane tickets earlier in the year for an annual family trip. My boss kept ignoring my request and eventually I had to confront her about it. When we sat down to discuss it she told me that she granted time-off in order of seniority in the spa. Those who had been with the company the longest got their request off first and that left me at the very bottom. I tried to explain that I had no choice in the matter whether I could go or not. My boss then told me that I should defy my mother and not go. That was the moment I realized we were not going to reach an agreement.  The next week I had to turn in my two weeks notice.
The second part of the McCornack text mentions that conflict is strongly shaped by perception. I would not say that my former boss or I perceived the conflict as a power struggle because clearly I held no power but at the same time I do believe there was a power game being played. She held all the power in granting leave and she thought that I had the power to say no to the planned trip and in doing so I would be defying my mother and that just was not an option for me. 
The third element of the text suggests that conflicts are rooted in our perceptions regarding goals and resources. People can have incompatible goals and that can be the source of the dispute. In my case, I believe my former bosses goal was to keep a hierarchal feeling in the spa amongst the employees.
Overall the conflict was not solved but rather just came to a close because I removed myself from the conflict.


What was a time that you faced a conflict and what do you think was the reason it arose and how did it end?


References:
     McCornack, S. (2010). Reflect and relate: An introduction to interpersonal communication (2nd ed.). Boston. New York: Bedford/St. Martin’s