Our self concept is an overall perception of who we are and
is heavily reliant on how others perceive us.
In the textbook Reflect & Relate it states that…”one of the biggest influence
on your self-concept is the labels others put on you. Sociologist Charles
Horton Cooley described the impact that labeling has on our self-concepts as
the looking-glass self.” (McCornack, 2010, p. 41). First impressions mean EVERYTHING and you only
get one shot at making a good first impression, at least this is what we are taught
from an early age. For an example take a
look at the picture posted above. When
you look at it what’s your first impression?
Over the years we
have come up with phrases created to cope with our feelings of inferiority and
to ease our stress of fitting in. We use them to build up our self worth and
esteem…some of these phrases include: “You can’t always judge a book by its
cover, “ or “Variety is the spice of life.” We have even gone so far as to
unconsciously form two types of self: One with which we keep secret otherwise
known as our “private self.” As the name
indicates, these are the facets that we keep hidden or secret. Then there is our “private self” which is
how we want others to view us, otherwise known as our “ideal self.” I guess you could say that life is merely
stage, and simply pu,t we are the actors putting on a show. Just as actors wear costumes to help transform
them into the characters they play, we metaphorically wear a mask that helps us
to conceal our “private self;” and displays the character that we want others
to know us by. We follow a daily script
of social acceptance through genderalization, socialization and our culture
trying very hard not to stray too far from these predestined norms.
I am reminded of that awkward teenage girl I once was trying
so hard to be a part of the “in” crowd and failing miserably. I think I still carry the scars of the
rejection felt back in my high school days that still tend to play a major role
in who I am and the public self I try to portray today. I can already tell SCOM 320 will be a huge
challenge for me. I tend to be the quiet
girl in the corner who would rather not be seen or heard but rather just sit
back and observe. I’m not a blogger, a
tweeter and setting up a Facebook account was a huge step for me for fear that
I would lose some control over the public self I portray to others around
me. I tend to rather enjoy hiding behind
the mask and putting on a show for those around me. Oh and by the way, would you be surprised if I told you that the
man in the picture is not what you would label the life of the party, however,
he is a rather shy, introverted guy who I also call my Father.
So if our lives are a stage and we are just merely
actors…then at what point do we cut the act and start getting real?
Reference:
- McCornack, S. (2010). Reflect &
Relate. An Introduction to
Interpersonal Communication, 40-63.
