The Perfect Blend
She is beautiful inside and out and she loves hard and
strong. Don’t mistake her to be a softy
she has a feisty flair that will set anyone straight. She is the glue that bonds us together
without her we would fall apart. He on
the other hand is the strong yet silent type.
Not hard to please and the most loving and selfless man you will ever
meet. Together they are my world and
every ounce of who I am today has come from them. They are my Mother and Father my angels and
saving grace. It’s easy for me to get
all sentimental when I talk about my parents seeing as we have been through the
good, the bad and the extremely ugly.
Through it all we have stuck together and now I consider my parents to
be my BEST friends.
Autonomy versus connection is a type of tension that exists
in family patterns of connectedness and is more apparent and difficult to
manage as a child goes through the adolescent stage (McCornack, 2010,p.
376). As an only child growing up I was
inseparable form my parents. We did
everything together, well maybe not everything but you get the picture. Family rituals as described in this week’s
reading are one of the key factors in keeping the interpersonal communication
strong between families. There were many
rituals that we would partake in. One of my favorite weekly rituals that I can
still recall was Friday pizza night at our favorite pizzeria joint. We would order the same thing and one of the
most do’s was playing the theme song from the Movie “Ghost,” Mom’s
favorite. Dinner was always followed by
a trip to Blockbuster where they would let me rent the same movie “Peppy
Long-stocking.” This continued for many years until of course I grew up and
starting spending less time with them and more time with my friends. The text states that about 7th
grade detachment begins and this was the case for me. Middle school brought a shift to the
parent-child balance we had maintained for so many years. ((McCornack, 2010,p.376) like most kids I was struggling to find my
own identity which only amplified as I reached my high school years. Not only did I want my own identity but I
also wanted my own voice and independence.
I wanted to be seen and heard which strained the relationship with my
parents. We began to separate and kind of go our own
separate ways despite the fact that we lived under the same roof. It was as if miles stretched the distance
between us. Eventually I transitioned
into adulthood and have since seen the error of my ways. It is safe to say we have come full circle
and during the process have become emotionally closer and connected. A result that Mccormak states is most likely
to occur if there is a strong bond between parents and children prior to
adolescent stage ((McCornack, 2010,p.376)
To help us in the process of coming back together we are now
utilizing some of the healthy maintenance strategies. We utilize positivism by trying to remain
upbeat an invest the energy to make every encounter enjoyable, we are open with
one another and consider trust to be a sacred virtue, an we constantly assuring
one another by showing our appreciation, respect and love for each other. (McCornack, 2010, (p. 374-375) we also
utilize what Mccormack states is one of the most important forms of maintaining
healthy family relationships: family stories. We frequently rely on these stories
to help us remember some of the good, the bad and the very ugly moments we have
encountered along the way. It has made
us more appreciative of each other and has also aided in creating a healthy
family dynamic that we consider stronger than ever.
It is safe to say we have found the perfect blend by
utilizing some of the maintenance strategies above we have found the perfect
equation to a healthy family relationship. Our interpersonal communication is strong and
our connection is even stronger. Yes it
is safe to say that my parents are my best friends and I love them unconditionally. What about you? How would you describe your
family? Have you had to overcome challenges
such as dialectic tensions of autonomy vs. connection or openness vs.
protection? What was the outcome?
Reference:
- McCornack, S. (2010). Reflect & Relate. An Introduction to Interpersonal Communication, 322-337.
