You’ve just gotten back from dinner and your best friend tells you how much she enjoyed meeting your new boyfriend. You’re ecstatic and can’t wait to tell him that he hit it off with everyone. This is an important stage in a relationship and a reassuring sign for you.
When a couple has support from their friends and family, also known as their social network, the relationship is more likely to survive. It’s important to show your support by expressing how much you like your partner’s family and friends or inviting them out with the two of you. Showing this kind of support helps to affirm your partner’s social network and create a deeper bond within your relationship (McCornack 2009).
In considering the beneficial ways to show your support, you should also be aware of the deconstructive side. Debilitating your partner’s social network can be as easy as saying critical or hurtful things about his or her family and friends. Going out of your way to avoid them won’t get you anywhere either. And these actions repeated over time will likely cause a serious problem in your relationship (McCornack 2009). If you really don’t like your partner’s friends or family it’s still necessary to realize that they probably mean a lot to him/her and to follow the “if you can’t say anything nice…” rule.
This concept is especially important today when social networks are being expanded by technology. Facebook, Twitter, and Myspace have their ups and downs when it comes to maintaining our relationships ,but it’s looking like they’re starting to take a toll specifically on our romantic relationships. Sure, it’s convenient when that constant communication is available and you always seem to know what your partners up to just by getting online, but that could be part of the problem. Even though American divorce rates have stayed the same in the last decade at about 40%, Facebook is now being cited as a leading cause in more and more divorce cases. Photos taken from the site are being used as evidence in court as well as printouts of posts and conversations (Adams ,2011). That being said ,social networking sites are still influential in maintaining a positive relationship with your partner as well. Using e-mail, texting, or Facebook to send your partner a positive message during the day can boost both of your feelings towards one another. Sharing a fun piece of news, telling a joke, or telling him or her you’ve made the dinner reservations for that night can be great midday pick me ups. Little surprises like this can go a long way in illustrating your interest in the relationship (McCornack ,2009).
This was a strong point in my last relationship. I could always count on a random text message every now and then just to let me know that he was thinking about me and I tried to reciprocate with other small gestures here and there. Fortunately, we both got along with each other’s parents and loved being around each other’s friends, which made it much easier to show our support for the other’s social networks and consequently led to a stronger relationship between us. If we hadn’t have been so fortunate with one another’s social networks, things may have been a little trickier but following some of those simple guidelines mentioned earlier would certainly have helped.
Have you been in a relationship where you didn’t get along with the other person’s family or friends? Did a social networking site help or hinder your relationship with that person?
References:
Adams, R. (2011, March 8). Facebook a top cause of relationship trouble, says US lawyers. Guardian UK, Retrieved from http://www.gaurdian.co.uk/technology/2011/mar/08/facebook-us-divorces
McCornack, S. (2009). Reflect and relate: An introduction to interpersonal
communication. Boston, MA: Bedford/St. Martin’s.
