I was three years old in pre-school when a boy in my class came to school dressed in a suit and tie to impress me. He gave me a flower and his parents insisted to mine that we have a play-date. My father has told me this story over and over again ever since I can remember; laughing each time he does. He describes seeing the boy all dressed up when he dropped me off at school and got the biggest kick out of it. This is my first memory of a romantic relationship. I’m sure everyone has stories similar to my own. Kissing the boy you had a crush on in the playground, calling the girl you like on the phone (landline…remember those?) and many other firsts that come with the experience of romance.
Interestingly enough, our textbook says that children as young as 4 have reported passionate love towards others. Passionate love can be defined as “a state of intense emotional and physical longing for union with another” (McCornack, 2009, p. 322). This type of love is different from liking someone, and there are many different types of romantic love. From the first time you kiss your new partner, an experience filled with butterflies and excitement, to thirty years later when that same partner has become your companion in life, sharing heartache, joy, and many other life experiences.
How do you feel romance changes over the years after being with one person? And are those later years still considered “romantic”?
Romantic relationships, which can be defined as “a chosen interpersonal involvement forged through communication in which the participants perceive the bond as romantic” (McCornack, 2009, p. 326), have several key elements. Perception, diversity, choice, tensions, and communication are the core aspects that make up a relationship. First, the people in the relationship must perceive themselves as being in one. These perceptions must also be similar. One party cannot see the relationship as casual and the other sees it as committed for it to be considered a relationship. Diversity has to do with the fact that all genders, ethnicities, and sexual orientations fall in love in the same way. Choice means that each party has the choice to enter into the relationship. Tension describes the contradictions and contrary versus opposing tendencies in a relationship. And lastly, interpersonal communication, which is used to forge relationships and maintain them once a person has entered into a romantic relationship.
Although my first experience with romance didn’t exactly qualify as a romantic relationship, it was the start to learning about the way the sexes interact with each other when they like someone a little bit more than a friend. From passion to companion, romance is crucial aspect for each person to fully find joy in life.
