Passion is one of the leading forces that helps keep a relationship alive. When you experience passion, you will fill positive emotions including: joy, surprise, excitement, amazement, and sexual attraction. The one emotion that truly contributes to the meaning of passion, however, is surprise. In the beginning of your relationship, you and your romantic partner will keep each other guessing. The disclosing of personal information on spontaneous unplanned dates adds to the guessing factor. However, there will come a time when your relationship will become predictable (McCornack, 2009).
Predictability in a relationship can become a threat if it’s excessive. Some couples can find themselves becoming less desirable to one another. Being intimate can also become null and void. So, it is primarily up to both individuals to keep their relationship from falling into an unexpected pattern of events.
In order to keep a relationship alive when you feel your communication skills have run a different course and the passion has found its way to the dead zone, you need to regroup. Try planning a romantic getaway. Pull out all the stops with no interruptions. Take the time to remember what it was that really brought the two of you together. In the end you, need to make the situation or the event you are planning truly unexpected. “People who elicit our passion are those who communicate in ways that deviate from what we expect” (McCornack, 2009, p. 137).
My mother is somebody I admire and seek to for advice. After the passing of my father, she was a widow for a good ten years. Raising my brother and I was no easy task. I can say she succeeded because my brother is now an engineer and here I am going into my senior year of college. That is all beside the point because she found love again and got remarried.
I was able to watch my newlywed parents’ loves grow for each other. My step-dad would constantly leave romantic notes around the house to remind her of their love. Their relationship in the beginning was also filled with many surprise getaways. They would spend a lot of valuable time together and you would always see them laughing. This laughter would soon hit a speed bump in their relationship.
The affection they had towards each other was changing and they started to argue over seemingly trivial things. You could tell that their passion for one another was slowly fading away. When my step-dad reached out to me for advice, I knew they were at that point where some break things off and others continue. After some positive advice from family members, it was like he felt revived. My step-dad regained his spark and brought back his adventurous side. He took my mother on unplanned camping trips and would replace his note- leaving with random flowers. I wouldn’t say that their relationship is perfect, but they are both trying to find ways to keep each other guessing. Again, communicating with the acknowledgement of passion for one another will always be inviting in any relationship.
So, remember the next time you are in a relationship and your passion towards each other begins to fade, don’t give up, find some new ways to keep each other guessing.
Do you think a relationship can survive without passion? Explain.
How would you handle the fading away of passion in your relationship?
In what ways would you keep your partner surprised?
References:
- McCornack, S. (2009). Reflect & relate: An introduction to interpersonal communication. Bedford/ St. Martin’s
