So what gives? Why as of late does our communication seem non-existent? Do they think our life isn’t busy either? We’ve tried our best to communicate through email and text when time permitted, but the recent responses seemed impersonal and rushed. I know we missed their daughter’s first birthday party, but they said they understood. Why do they seem to be holding such a grudge? We perceived their silence as sign to move on. I know we weren’t always the most punctual when it came to communication, but it appeared we would now exist only as a casual “how are you doing, great, see you in another couple years” type of relationship. So we went silent as well. What’s the point? If they don’t have the time for us then why put in the effort, right? Well, we have our own lives to deal with up here so I wish you well and we’ll see you when we see you I guess.

Poor decision!! Imagine our shock when we finally heard the news that one of them was dealing with a serious health condition that just presented itself six months ago. On top of the pain and discomfort, the time constraints of dealing with the treatments resulted in incredible amounts of stress at work and at home. They literally did not have time to communicate, and they sure didn’t want to feel like they were dumping their burdens on us when they did finally get around to touching base. Imagine the guilt we felt when they apologized to us for not staying in contact.

How did we let this happen? The trouble was in our misinterpretation of their actions. We were trying to interpret why there was a sudden lack of communication. According to McCornack (2009), we created explanations for our friends’ behaviors, or attributions, that answered the “why” question we were asking. Unfortunately, these attributions led us to a horribly false conclusion. I regret this deeply, and I plan to make amends for my miscalculation. To do so, I plan to look inside myself and do some soul searching. I plan to change my communication behavior through critical self-reflection by asking myself (McCornack, 2009):

·What am I thinking and feeling?
·Why am I thinking and feeling the way I am?
·How are my inner thoughts and feelings affecting my communication behavior?
·How can I improve my thoughts, feelings, and communication behavior?

My hopes are that improved self-awareness will allow me to be more in-tune with my interpersonal relationships and enhance my overall communication skills. With any luck, maybe I can remove the blinders that kept me from seeing the issues my friends were having and missing out on being there when they could have used a supporting voice.